My Trooper at the hospital
As a mommy, I could tell exactly what was about to happen. Baby will go into the car fine, my spirited 1st grader is going to get hysterical. Exactly. He gave her his famous "what is she so upset about now?" look, as I thought of a way to calm her down. "Here, squeeze my finger as hard as you can," I said as I twisted my arm to the back seat. "(Hysterical) NO!" "Please? I want to see which hand is stronger." Finally she did, left hand over right, then right over left, and calmed right down. (My cousin used to do that with me, and tease, "are you squeezing? I can barely feel it...")
We had asked the hospital on the phone if they could see him right away. My husband zoomed off with him when we arrived, and I went to check in. It took one hour just to check in. I imagined what was going on with my baby, but felt calm. My trooper lay on the gurney for that hour, snoozed for a bit but looked at my husband and stayed still for the rest of the time. He did cry while they put in the six stitches, but was fine again a few minutes later. If it had been my daughter in there, I can't even imagine the scene!
I got that crystal clear 'in the moment' feeling as I was with my family today.
As I don't believe that there is a post-death reunion, I try very hard to live each day to its fullest. If I make a mistake, I need to fix it, preferably today. If something needs to be said, I need to say it. Tomorrow might be too late, a point brought home anew today. It makes for a full, happy, examined life.